Things I Can't Afford

I’ve come to the point in my life where stuff is just stuff. I don’t covet my neighbor’s Jag or my friend’s 72-inch 3D TV. I’m simply content cruising in my minivan and watching Netflix on my conservatively sizable Samsung.

I must admit, however, that sometimes I have that urge to splurge. Despite my ability to keep my compulsive collecting at bay and appreciate what I have, my mental databank does in fact keep a few fantasy items on file just in case I hit the lottery or find an uber deal on Craigslist.

Here are a few:

Multicade

I grew up in the ’70s and ’80s, the heyday of video arcades. I held countless fistfuls of game tokens, heard endless bleeps and bloops coming from the machines, and developed a solid case of Pac Man fever. That’s why I’m jonesing for a real deal arcade machine to nestle in the corner of our den. You can keep your XBox 360 and all that fancy shmancy stuff. I wanna go old school with a video game cabinet packed with 60 games in one. They’re out there. You can play Donkey Kong one minute and Centipede the next. Most are around $1,500, but I found a guy on Craigslist who builds them for as low as $650. Santa, can you hear me?

Here's a link to some pricey ones I've found: http://www.multicades.com/

Wampa Rug

Like most “Star Wars” geeks, “The Empire Strikes Back” holds a special place in my nerdy heart. My favorite scene? I have several, but I always get a burst of nervous excitement when Luke is attacked by the giant Yeti-like Wampa creature. Luke eventually slays the beast courtesy of his trusty lightsaber, and the idea that this beast was eventually transformed into a rug is probably one that many fan boys have fantasized about for years. I can’t say that I have, but I recently found out you can own a geunine Wampa-skin rug. I can't quite justify shelling out $130 bucks for one, and I doubt my wife would be willing to wear the slave Leia costume like the chick in the photo. Oh well, a guy can dream.

You can find it here: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e071/

Bandit Trans Am

The summer of ’77 may have been the season of “Star Wars,” but the roar of Burt Reynolds’ Trans Am in “Smokey and the Bandit” took my attention away from the exploding Death Star, at least for a moment. “Smokey” is one of my all-time favorite flicks. So while most middle age dudes dream of being behind a Mercedes or an Escalade, I’d rather have a black Trans Am. I’d prefer a 1977 vintage with t-tops, but I’d take anything up to ’81. Since I dress up like Burt Reynolds as the Bandit in a country music tribute band, it would be super sweet to be behind the wheel of one when pulling up to a gig. I've seen show-ready ones for as high as $25K, and those are way out of my reach. I've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there. For now, however, I’m still Mr. Soccer Mom heading Eastbound and down in my Town & Country.